


Letters to my Love

by PrinceDork



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, F/F, Injury references, Letters, Original work - Freeform, drug references, superhero
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-10
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 15:08:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21739951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrinceDork/pseuds/PrinceDork
Summary: Serenity Stewart-Baxter is in love. But something big is preventing her from being with her soulmate. So, to cope with the grief, she writes letters to the other.
Relationships: Original Female Character/Original Female Character
Comments: 14
Kudos: 8





	Letters to my Love

Dearest Julie,

I do hope you are well. Well, as well as you can do as a drug dealer. I suppose you never take the stuff yourself, or did. I haven’t seen you in three weeks. Maybe you change?

You’ve kept mostly the same, under that mask. Our fights are still full of those funny quips that I have to keep myself from laughing at. But you seem to have gotten less energetic, less active. I’ve noticed a lack in explosions, at the least.

I don’t blame you. It’s so hard for me to get out of bed in the morning, knowing you’re not at my side, and never will be. To go out on that steed you recommended me, and stop you from doing what you do. To throw attack after attack, returning home and patching up my wounds. 

I’ve been neglecting my own health, again. 

I find that I’ve grown much thinner, and eat a lot less. It is cheaper, though. I don’t have to worry as much about money when I don’t eat as much. I have spent less time worrying about my appearance. I look horrible, but I’m not completely sure. I removed all the mirrors in my new apartment. I don’t want to look at myself. I’m acting so strange, I can hardly recognize myself.

I’m a completely different person when I’m in that mask. I’m no longer the heartbroken barista, I’m a smart and stern superheroine. I’m alienating myself from that mask. It’s strange, but it helps. 

It doesn’t hurt when I’m fighting. 

I’m sorry for doing what I did, I was just so scared. I still am. 

I love you.

Much Love,  
Serenity Stewart-Baxter

\---

My Dear Julia, 

I saw you today. Without the mask. You were at our coffee shop, standing outside, with this broken look on your face. I felt so guilty, but I couldn’t go to you. 

She could.

I staged it well. I said I was patrolling, looking to make sure everyone was safe, when I found her looking so alone. I knew it wasn’t my business, but I was concerned. Was she alright?

You were honest. Said you were heartbroken, your girlfriend ghosted you. It had been over a month and you missed her. I expressed my sympathy. I told you it was horrible what she did. What I did. But I couldn’t say anything. Serenity was gone, but not the mask. 

You thanked me for listening, but said there was nothing to be done. I tried to offer, but you declined. 

You’re so beautiful.

Much Love,  
Serenity Stewart-Baxter

\---

Dear Julie,

I cut my leg today. When I was patching it up, I saw the scar. You know the one. I began to cry, remembering you. It hurt a lot more than it should have. I still miss you. 

I’ve gotten worse in taking care of myself even more. I’m doing poorly in sewing up and bandaging my wounds. I just can’t find the energy. I think some of them are getting infected, but I don’t care. I have so many scars. 

I miss you.

Much Love,  
Serenity Stewart-Baxter

\---

My Dear Julie,

I’m so horribly sick. I can’t move, I’m laying on the floor, writing this. Everything hurts. Something smells really bad. I should call for help. 

Maybe I’ll die here. Maybe I’ll be safe in the afterlife. 

It certainly will hurt a lot less.

Dying,  
Serenity Stewart-Baxter

\---

Serenity,

Well fuck you too I guess. 

A friend of mine saw you in the hospital and called me. It’s the first time I’ve seen you in three months. You may be a wreck, but you’re still just as beautiful as the day I met you.

Why did you leave me? Why did you leave yourself in this state? The doctors said you could have come to the hospital, or at least cleaned them up yourself. But you didn’t. You were malnourished, dehydrated, and lacking a shit ton of vitamins. You had been in bad condition leading up to them finding you nearly dead on the floor of your apartment. 

What happened to you? You look so different, so hollow, laying here. Why did you leave me? No messages, no letter, just moved to an apartment across the city?

You’re probably never gonna tell me.

I’ve been alone this whole time, just me and some buddies of mine. No relationships.

I miss you.

Love,  
Julie

\---

My Dear Julie,

Someone found me. I don’t know how long I lay on the floor, waiting for death, before I heard someone knocking on my door. I didn’t respond. They kept knocking, it hurt my head. Again, I was quiet. Finally, I heard a distant click, and voices.

Apparently my landlord had noticed I hadn’t been leaving my apartment for a couple days, so he went to check on me. He found me on the floor and contacted the ambulance. I can’t remember much, but I woke up in the hospital. Apparently I was covered in wounds that were infected, and they asked me why. I had to lie, but I couldn’t think of anything. So I didn’t talk.

They had to perform emergency surgery, among other things. I’m going to be in here for a while, and I don’t think I can afford it. I might ask them to just let me die, if it gets to that. I’m a superhero, not a billionaire. 

I wish you were here.

Afraid,  
Serenity Stewart-Baxter

\---

My Julie,

I told the doctors I was jumped in an alleyway. They bought it, and told police, but I couldn’t provide enough details. It will probably get dropped. 

They said you visited me while I was out. You didn’t tell them much, but that we were friends. I found your note sitting on the bedside table. I cried. I missed you, the way you talk, your handwriting. I wish I had been awake, but I also wish you had never visited. You’re making this so hard for me.

I can’t be with you, as much as I want to.

You should move on.

Concerned,  
Serenity Stewart-Baxter

\---

Dearest Julie,

I was released from the hospital today. I have loads of debts that I’ve been tossed into. They said you left some money to help pay, but Hospital bills are much to expensive. I’ll need to find a good job.

I’ve been sending out animals to do my work for me, as you have likely seen. I’ll have to keep doing that while I work on getting a job that pays well and that I can do at home. I’m scouring anything I can. 

They tell me to eat well, but I’m not sure if I will be able to.

I need to move apartments again. You know where I live now, and mine is much too expensive. 

Hopefully my next one won’t have infestations.

Tired,  
Serenity Stewart-Baxter

\---

My Julie,

I managed to get the perfect job! I’m a journalist! I can report on my missions, and be able to speak to people outside the mask! It doesn’t pay as well as I hoped, but I’m getting there.

I found a very cheap apartment building on the poorer side of town. It’s clean, and no infestations. It’s small, and there are thin walls. 

I still miss you, though. 

Maybe one day my mask will fall off and you’ll be able to understand. 

I wonder if you will read my articles. 

Hopeful,  
Serenity Stewart-Baxter

\---

Dear Julie,

I messed up.

I came on-site, without the mask, looking for information to report. The aftermath. You were there, masked, and looking for something. You saw me before I could get away.

I acted like I didn’t know your secret, but I was still so afraid. To me, you were just some supervillain. 

You asked my intentions, my purpose. I explained that I was a journalist, and that I was looking for information here on the battlefield. I meant no ill will. 

You offered to do an interview, if I would help you with something. You had lost a necklace, with a lot of sentimental value. You were afraid of loosing it. You needed help looking. 

We searched for quite a while, you offering small talk. I answered quickly and simply. You began to tell me about my mask, how you felt about her. I turned on my voice recorder and grabbed a notebook. You talked about me as we searched. It was strange.

You told me how you were struggling outside of this job, that you were going through a tough breakup. I offered my sympathy. You told me how this job was keeping you sane, stable. I wondered how much I would include in the article. Your voice cracked.

I found the locket that I had given you, but I acted as if I didn’t recognize it. I commented that it seemed to be the same model as what I have given my girlfriend, but this one seemed a lot more worn than hers. I didn’t open it, as to protect your identity. 

We conducted a more formal interview, where you explained your job and what you did. You were so polite, so calm. I kept the same. It was nice to hear your voice, even if it was masked and distorted. 

I spent a lot of time on the article, but apparently people liked it a lot. “Inside the mind of Keepsake, actual interview.” I might try to interview Keepsake again. 

Did you read it?

Confused,  
Serenity Stewart-Baxter

\---

Dear Julie, 

I’m thinking of leaving the city. 

Our interviews have been wonderful, it’s so nice to talk to you again. But it’s just so hard. I want to run back to you, to hold you and tell you I know, I know what you are, and I’m sorry, I’m just so afraid. 

But I can’t.

I’ve left a spider in your jacket, maybe I can keep an eye on you from afar. I need to know you’re safe. 

I still wear my ring. 

Sorry,  
Serenity Stewart-Baxter.

\---

Dearest Julie,

I’ve been doing so well, people enjoy all my article about you. My mask is much more social than you, and is able to talk to people more. But now, with me, I can give you a voice. People are thinking me strange, but I have sworn I am not involved in any of your work. I am just a reporter, giving the facts. Sharing your words.

I’ve become a mediator. It’s actually quite nice, being the voice for you.

I wonder how you feel about our conversations?

Curious,  
Serenity Stewart-Baxter

\---

My Dearest Julie,

I’m sorry for everything. 

I understand that you have likely moved on, and are now enjoying your life with someone else. I know it’s been a year, it’s been much too long. I know I’ve been a complete douche, but I’m sending you this letter as a sort of closure. I know what you may say, “Why not a message? Why not a call? Why handwrite a whole-ass letter? Do you know how hard this will be to read?”

I’m sorry, I just feel better writing. I can barely talk to you, or text you. I’m scribbling this down in the dead of night. I’m sorry it’s been so long.

I suppose I should explain myself. I don’t want forgiveness, I just want to offer my side of the story. This isn’t an excuse - this is fact. I’m a journalist, I can tell the difference. 

Why did I leave you? I’m sorry, I suppose I’m stalling. I should come clean;

I found the room inside your closet.

I was going through your room, cleaning out that shithole of a closet you keep your clothes in. Everything was piled and hanging everywhere, I had to fix it. You know how I am. I had taken everything out and laid it around the room when I saw it - the little door, the slight change in paint. 

I pressed on it, and saw everything.

The mask, the voiceboxes, the tools, the bottles.

I panicked. 

I cleaned everything up, as intended, but my mind was racing. I didn’t know what to do. You were my enemy, we were supposed to be fighting each other. Not madly in love. I had no idea what to do, so I ran. 

I ran away from you, my home, my friends and family. I ran away from anything that reminded me of you. The only thing I didn’t run away from was Void. I changed numbers, quit my job, moved to the other side of the city.

I’ve wanted to go back to you the moment I left, but I was too scared to. Too scared of the conversation, the fallout. I was to scared to explain to you that I am Void. I am the woman who switched to a panther because you were afraid of horses. I am the woman who spent hours obsessing over you, covering my secret wall with pictures and information, news articles and government documents. I am the woman who has dedicated my life to stopping you and people like you.

And suddenly, I realized that I loved you. Not just Julie, but Keepsake. I loved both sides of you.

But Void couldn’t love you.

I’m writing and sending you this as a final goodbye, to you and to the world. You can publish this, if you wish, or tell people who I am. I’m not going to survive tonight. I’m sorry I couldn’t spend my last year, I’m just a coward. A coward in love who focuses too much on what the public thinks. 

I love you so much. I wish I had gone back, I should have gone back. I regret ever hurting you, I regret not talking to you, I regret not asking why. 

I’m keeping my ring on. When they find my body, I ask that you don’t let anyone else have it. You can keep it, or leave it on my finger. It’s your ring.

Enclosed are the letters I’ve written leading up to this moment, and the one you sent me. If you care enough to go through them, I won’t be upset if you burn them and this one. 

I love you.

Goodbye forever,  
Serenity Stewart-Baxter

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Let me know if you enjoyed and your thoughts, theories, and recommendations! 
> 
> I want to maybe make a second chapter, which is basically Julie's messages to Serenity, if you're interested. 
> 
> ~Jordan


End file.
